But He'll Change: End the Thinking That Keeps You in an Abusive Relationship

I think for a long time I was embarrassed that I had purchased this book and needed it so much. I made a hard decision to leave an abusive relationship that I had kept going back to, and my loved ones encouraged me to stay with my abuser. This book had a reason, an answer, an affirmation for my every doubt, what-if, and why. I've never left a book review before, and I doubt I will again, but this book could save your life. It was the love and affirmation I needed to stay strong in my decision when I didn't have support. It gave me the chance to live my best life.

I have only partially read this book so far. I have to wait until my husband is at work. So far, its very good and I have realized that he will never change. It was all a game with him. He is unable to change. Hope the book helps many others make up their minds.

It's full of the lies you've accepted as truths as your relationship progressed. Every chapter is full of "Yes, but..." lies we all tell ourselves. We know they're not true, but we seem to be creatures of habit, and if you are still in contact with him, he's doing everything he can to enforce his reality - the lies.It's even more full of the truth. The real truth. The truth we need to hear. The truth you've been blamed, yelled, forced, humiliated, (etc.) to deny to your own self. It is common sense. It is the truth that will set you free.The book says that 37% of US women live in emotionally abusive relationships. The book is full of "issues to explore." It gives you excellent questions to ponder and journal about to help your healing, maybe gain some insights too. The truths are wonderful affirmations to glance back over. He took a long time brainwashing you and probably did a pretty good job! Some of his reality just became engrained in you and you'll need to keep reminding yourself most of what he said was lies. These truths and issues are worth looking over and remembering as you work so hard to heal, to reclaim your self -- your true self.Glad it's in my library. I review the truths as a reality check. Just to make sure I'm not slipping backwards into his warped reality.

If you or someone you care about is in or just left a narcissistic relationship it's a great read. It let's them know they're not alone, offers advice, helps put things in perspective.

Wonderful description of a healthy relationship early on in this book. Nicely organized and a wake-up call for those who think name calling, emotional abuse, "a tap" are "no big deal". Give this to your friends, daughters, family members and help spread the word that calling abuse what it is early on may just save a life in these days when it seems women and children are being murdered almost daily !!!This books is written by someone who experienced spousal abuse; who had children to consider, who struggled with religion issues. She's a very "real" woman. Plus there's a nice flow to her writing.. one doesn't get overwhelmed and it's easy to read, put down and revisit.I am a "licensed batterer treatment provider" and have read widely in this genre... thank you so much for the book, the blog, your website and the interviews in the back of the book... exceptional interviews with professionals in the field of domestic violence

This a great book on a tough topic. It is succinct. To the point. Easy to refer back to.It has short, very focused chapters that make it easy to skip to the exact issue someone is facing. And a detailed Table of Contents which makes it easy to jump to the exact area you need.I read it to support a friend who is the victim of abuse. It helped me to understand much more clearly what was going on in the mind of the abuser and victim so I could be helpful to my friend.If you are the victim of abuse or know someone who is get this book.

As a counselor and advocate for victims of domestic violence, this is one book that most of my clients can identify with. I only purchased one copy, and it is being passed around among the participants of my support group. Anyone who is currently in an abusive relationship, or anyone who wants to learn about the dynamics that keep victims locked to partners who abuse them should read this book.

This book is a great tool for me to refer back to when I doubt myself. The thinking keeps propping itself up like it has for so long. Now I have this tool to refer back to and remind myself how destructive my own thinking is that kept me in an abusive relationship for 20 years. Those of us who were abused need constant reminders that we are not alone and that we can stop the cycle of abusive relationships.

I lived in an abusive relationship for several years and left in 1967.In spite of my efforts my children and grandchildren have found themselves in abusive relationships. There weren't the same resources in the 60's and 70's that thankfully we have now.This is by far the best book I have read about abuse and one I am recommending to friends and family.Joanna V. Hunter has done a great service to women everywhere.The book is so well written and covers so many necessary topics . Women of all ages should read this book to better understand the dynamics of abuse and what we can do to help ourselves , friends and most importantly our families. Thank you Joanna. Mrs.R

Accessible and readable